The (sort of) International Civil War
by frogandrabbitsox
Summary: This is the result of bad days and a rude remark about hamburgers. The Hetalia nations team up against the Nyotalia nations and none will stop fighting for their pride. Warning: I screwed the censors. Pairings should be included, though it should not turn into a sappy romance story. Enjoy!


AN/ It's been a long time since I found time to right another story. Please excuse my shaky, often disorderly and anticlimactic writing. Thank you!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. Or else you would see a lot of pairings. Scarily official pairings.

-Cassie

* * *

The day started out no better than any other. Both personifications of the same country were yelled at by the President the night before.

"Would you look at yourselves, calling yourselves civilized Americans. Why, I have evidence that half the entire population in the world is more civilized than you two pigs! If you two would stop eating sixteen hamburgers and hot dogs per minute, I bet that more than half our enemies would respect our power and our wit." The lecture would go on and all the insults would come back to them. The two would always pretend not to care when other rude and obnoxious nations spat it out at them, but coming from their own leader, it was too much. The two left the room in equal silence, their backs bent and their faces downcast. The wandered around the District of Columbia for quite a while before the woman spoke up.

"Well that sure sucked. Wanna head over to my place?" The counterpart nodded without uttering a single word. The ushered themselves down the streets toward the woman's house.

The streets of Columbia were well kept and clean. The blue sky reflected in puddles from a recent rain, as natural as the green, kept grass on a crisp clean sidewalk. The trees, calculatedly planted look as humanely perfect and modern as the cars that drove down the road. The only object that marred the otherwise controlled and modern view was the White House in the distance. The old, Grecian-Roman-styled building was a constant reminder of the past, the wars, the casualties, and most of all, the bloodshed and death. Politics was deceptive, and it never ceased to disrupt peace of what would have been a more peaceful country with a less tattered and torn history. America, as young as the country is, has a bloody trail of history behind it. The uniforms on the backs of the personifications were just as big of a burden as the White House was. How many times were blood splattered on the crisp clean bomber jackets? How many rips and tears did the pants have to face? How many medals made their mark on the worn, tan uniform? How many scars did these clothes have to hide? And yet, the countries still yelled and jeered at America. Americans were fat, they would say, obnoxious and lazy and would stick their nose into other people's business. The food, the ways, the language, the stereotypes– everyone would base their insults on those little flaws stuck within. And all the country wanted was to help the world. And guess where that got him and his counterpart.

Those thoughts circulated in their minds. It can't be helped, they both thought, it had to happen someday or the other. Their mistakes would be followed, as both counterparts knew. The world would know. With that happy thought stuck in their heads, the man and the woman grimly entered the door of the house and proceeded to make themselves comfortable. The woman, unusually courteous to her male counterpart–maybe out of empathy–took out some hamburger buns, meat, cheese, the American kind, a pinch of lettuce and tomato, and heated the stove. The TV blared in the background, but the man wasn't really listening. His eyes were duller than the usual sky blue they were, but full of a furious fire. He was furious at the others, who thought they were so high and mighty to insult him when their conditions were no where as close to himself. The woman was angry as well, for all the same reasons, and with all the same hate. Anger wouldn't contain itself any longer as the man, smelling the hamburgers, closed the TV and grabbed the plate. He plunked himself onto the couch and took an indignant bite into his hamburger. The man's nose wrinkled in disgust, for his anger heightened his standard for his favorite food.

"Dude, the hamburgers you make suck!" Alfred remarked at Amelia, or fem!America. And that was the last straw. No one insulted Amelia's hamburgers and got away with it.

"Well, not like yours are any better," Amelia replied through gritted teeth, trying hard not to choke her male self to death, "Those fries you concoct are even worse than England's cooking."

Alfred narrowed his eyes. Blindly, he shouted, "All you counterpart whatevers make sucky stuff! We are soooo much better!"

Amelia screamed, "You got it reversed! We are the awesome heroes, not you clumsy, stupid men!"

Alfred stood up from the couch he was sitting in. Amelia walked over to him and stood equally tall. The rage had taken over; the fury at everyone's ignorance had turn onto themselves. The counterparts had a long, dark staring contest until Amelia said, "This is war, bastard."

Alfred said, just as hatefully, "Bring it on, suckers."

They both marched away. This was going to be a long battle.

The World Conference happened this afternoon, in America. The counterparts attended separate conferences, due to a few issues that had to be straightened out (coughcoughmorekillingduringmeetingsthanalreadypre sentcoughcough). Never were the Nyotalia and Hetalia groups any happier. In separate towns and separate sides of America, the great doors of the conference room were kicked down at the same time with the same strength that sent the door flying away if the hinges weren't recently replaced. The room immediately went quite. Fem!England, or Alice, and Arthur stood up immediately and started their normal lecture on manners. "Amelia/Alfred, one does not-"

Both were silenced by an icy glare that were followed by multiple footsteps that echoed across the room. The silence was so complete that you could have heard the two Americas breathing.

"Our pride has been dishonored." Amelia stated. Someone snorted in the background. "Wow. So you just realized. Congrats. We would all appreciate that you-" A bullet grazed the nations' head and made a large crack in the other wall. The gun that the Amelia was holding was smoking. Her smile looked somewhat similar to Natalya's, which made some nations cringe. The Hetalia group was, however, completely silent as Alfred walked in. Maybe because he was already smiling. The faint half-smile full of malice shushed everyone in front of him. If someone would have laughed right then and now, that person probably would have been sent to his grave. Even as a nation.

"As I was saying, we have been called stupid, second-rate, and inferior. To whom, you may ask? To them." Amelia jerked her head east. "The counterparts."

"More than 90% percent of us are men. Fully grown men. We have braved the best, conquered our fears, and stood tall for centuries. Even as nations who have lived for hundreds of years, we are still jeered at, mocked at, and laughed at for being weak. Weak?" Alfred's voice echoed across the hall. A faint blanket of murmurs was cast upon the audience. Outrage began to spread across the room. They were nations. How could their unoriginal counterparts ever call themselves weak?

At the other side of the world, the Nyotalia group were already shouting in outrage. "Let me kick their bloody-" "Now now, Angleterre, I know that you burnt your tea and you went drinking last night, but isn't this a bit too roudy, non?"

"Hey, I'm over four thousand years old and they're STILL calling me weak, aru?!" Yao half-mumbled in displeasure.

"Ve, that's not really nice of our female counterparts!"

"Oh, those fucking bastards are going straight to hell, those motherfu-"

"Now now, Lovi, yes, we all want to kick their asses, but just eat a tomato, will you?" Even the usually calm Spanish lady was a little red in the face.

The shouts of the original Hetalians were rising higher and higher as Alfred yelled on and on. The nations were outraged. They were going to kick their asses for sure! Alfred, seeing the commotion and their united hate against a common enemy, announced in success, "LET'S SHOW THOSE UNGRATEFUL ASSES THEIR PLACE!"

"WE SHALL MAKE THEM PAY FOR THEIR IGNORANCE!" Amelia cheered on as the nations on her side yelled in agreement.

Both nations yelled at the same time, "SO WHO'S WITH ME?!"

Every nation in the conference screamed. It echoed around the world, filling each nook and cranny of each alleyway in each country. Business workers and beggars alike fell the sound ripple across the world. A strange peculiar feeling passed around everyone, strangely feeling like triumph and patriotism. The battle has begun.

No one was going to give in until the other stood victorious.

* * *

AN/ Warning: I may not update for a while. Please excuse me if I drop this story, which I have done to a million of my other works. Sometimes, I may not be clear when who says what. Just saying, for those who are confused, Alfred and Amelia alternate in talking, so you get to see to people at the same time in different places. The Nyotalia characters are mixed with the original characters while they are talking. Thanks for reading!

May the unicorns be with you!

-Cassie


End file.
